No Free Rides
by Sovereign64
Summary: Aizen gave Hinamori her driver's license despite not passing her driving test. But when Aizen learns the consequences for his actions, can he stop Momo before it's too late? Parody of a Spongebob Squarepants episode. ONESHOT


_**No Free Rides**_

It was a sunny day at Karakura Town and the driving students are driving around Karakura Town Driving School.

"Here we are again at the Karakura Town Driving School." The narrator said. We now see a girl driving a car smiling while her teacher is sitting next to her, looking uneasy. The girl has short black hair, tied to a bun and wears black shinigami robes and a gold and white band around her right arm. Her name was Hinamori Momo.

Her teacher is a man with brown hair and wears glasses and wears a white coat and black shinigami robes. His name is Sosuke Aizen **(Aizen is in his pre-Hueco Mundo appearance for this parody**.**)**.

"Today is once again the day of Hinamori's driving school exam." The narrator continued as Hinamori drives her car randomly on the road. "But most importantly, this is Hinamori's last driving exam this year." Hinamori now drives her car in front of the screen. The narrator continues as Hinamori drives closer to him. "And if Hinamori doesn't pass this one, it means a whole another year OF DRIVING SCHOOL!!" Hinamori and Aizen cringe as Hinamori knocks down the narrator. The narrator groans in pain on the road.

"Wow, what just happen?" Hinamori asked Aizen stupidly.

"Oh, nothing Momo." Aizen said as he shrugs with a fake smile. His smile dropped as he said, "You just struck another pedestrian." He writes on his notepad and said, "Minus 20 more points."

"How many does that leaves me with?" Hinamori asked hopefully.

"Negative 224 points." Aizen said bored.

"How many more minutes left in the test?!" Hinamori asked nervously.

"The test is over."

Hinamori perked up and bangs her fist on the steering wheel, making Aizen yelped. "THAT'S ENOUGH TIME FOR ME TO MAKE UP THOSE POINTS!!" She then pulls down the car lever and drives backward in fast speed.

"No Hinamori, wait, the test is over! Stop!" Aizen protested. But Hinamori ignored Aizen and continues driving backwards. In the process, she knocks down several safety cones. "It's too late, Momo!" Hinamori eventually smashes through a wall and the car landed in front of the starting point of the exam, causing the car to explode. Aizen coughs until the smoke is cleared.

Hinamori runs over to Aizen and asked hopefully, "So Aizen-sama, what's my final score?"

Aizen looks at his notepad and said dryly, "Six."

"WHOOO!!" Hinamori hooted in joy. She asked Aizen again, "And how many points do I need to pass?"

Aizen looks at his notepad again and said dryly, "Six."

Hinamori thought she passed the exam and hoots in joy, "Oooooooooo…."

"Hundred." Aizen finished.

"What?" Hinamori asked stupidly.

"Six hundred. You need six hundred to pass, Momo. You only got six." Aizen said. This could only means Hinamori has once again failed her driving exam.

"No Aizen-sama! I failed you again!" Momo cried with tears in her eyes. But soon, she perked up and said, "But it isn't all that bad right? Besides, this means I get to be in your class for a WHOLE ANOTHER YEAR!" Momo finished but slamming her fist on a damaged car tile, causing an exhaust pipe to fly into the air. "Well, see you next Tuesday!" Momo said with a smile and runs off. The exhaust pipe landed on Aizen's head, causing him to bloat up.

Hinamori sang happily as she runs out of the driving school.

Hinamori: _**Yeah!**_

_**I'm gonna get my driver's license**_

_**And it's gonna take one more year.**_

_**One more year**_

_**One more super duper year**_

Hinamori nows hops onto her unicycle and cycles around in circles happily.

_**One more super spectacular**_

_**Extra spectacular**_

_**Extra magical**_

_**Year!**_

_**One more year**_

_**One more year…**_

As Hinamori sang, Aizen widens his eyes in disbelief while sweating frantically. 'Oh for the love of Shigenkuni, another year with Hinamori Momo?! Hollows! Dirty Hollows! I got to do something to save myself!' But soon, Aizen thought of something. Of course, why didn't he think of that before? 'There's only one way out of this. The teacher's ace in the hole!'

Aizen turns back into normal happily as he sang, "Extra Crediiiiiiiitttttt!!"

"What was that, Aizen-sama?" Hinamori said as she hops off her unicycle.

Aizen runs over to Hinamori and shakes her frantically and said crazily, "Extra credit, Momo. The extra credit! I still have a chance!" He hugs Hinamori tightly. "I mean YOU still have a chance."

"What's extra credit, Aizen-sama?" Hinamori muffled.

Aizen releases Hinamori and said while raising up his hands in joy, "It's when you get credited for the things you have learn before." Hinamori sang.

Hinamori: _**Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh…….**_

* * *

Later in the school classroom, Hinamori is sitting on her table and in front of Aizen. "Now, are we ready for that extra credit?" Aizen asked.

"Extra credit, extra credit!" Hinamori said frantically.

"That's the spirit. So all you have to do to get that extra credit." Aizen turned away from Hinamori for a moment and said while shaking his fists happily. "And never have to set foot on this school again!" He turned to Hinamori and finished, "Is to write a ten word sentence about what you have learnt in driving school."

"But Aizen-sama, I learnt so many things." Hinamori said.

"Just pick one, I don't care which." Aizen said, getting impatient but tries to keep with his smile. "Here, I'll you out. 'What I learn in driving school is…' There! That's already seven words! Only three more!"

"W…H…A….T…" Hinamori said as she writes down what Aizen just said. But soon, she broke her pencil, making her cussed, "Oh Arrancars."

"What's wrong?" Aizen asked.

"Nothing, I just need to sharpen my pencil." Hinamori said. She stood up and walked over to the pencil sharpener which is on Aizen's desk. She then sharpens her pencil…slowly. When she finished sharpening, she looked at the tip of her pencil. She wasn't satisfied so she sharpened it again…slowly. When she finished sharpening again, she looked at her pencil. But once again, still not satisfied. She sharpens the pencil again…slowly. This makes Aizen even more impatient and sweats frantically. Hinamori hums to the Season 1 Bleach theme song as she sharpens. Hinamori continues sharpening until she finally heard some edging noises. She took out her pencil and she's finally satisfied with it. She grins as she blows her pencil and walks back to her table and continues writing.

"I…L…E…" Hinamori said as she writes. But soon, she breaks her pencil again. "Oh darn it." Aizen narrows his eyes and clenches his fists tightly, getting even more fed-up. Before Hinamori could head over to Aizen's desk to sharpen her pencil again, Aizen angrily snatches Hinamori's pencil.

"Give me that!" Aizen snapped. He then holds out his pen. "Here's a pen."

"A pen." Hinamori said as she takes the pen from Aizen. "One of the world's most permanent of all writing materials." She then sings happily as she walks back to her table.

Hinamori: _**I'm writing essay**_

_**That's what I say!**_

She then sits back down and continues writing. After she's done writing, she holds up her paper. "There, I'm done."

"Good, now let me see." Aizen said in relief. But suddenly, Hinamori went psycho freaky all of the sudden.

"NO I CHANGE MY MIND!" Hinamori screamed as she puts down her papers and scribbles her paper.

"It's okay, Momo. Let me see." Aizen said, getting nervous and impatient.

"NO! IT'S NOT READY!" Hinamori panicked as she covers her paper.

"You only need to write ten words, Momo!" Aizen yelled impatiently. "WHAT I LEARN IN DRIVING SCHOOL IS BLANKATY BLANKATY BLANK!!" As he said 'blank', red veins form in his eyes.

"Wait! Wait! I can do this! I can do this!" Hinamori panicked, as she tries to think what to write.

"What I learn in driving school is…What I learn in driving school is…"

"Why can't I do this, Aizen-sama?! Why is it getting hot in here, Aizen-sama?!" Suddenly, Hinamori couldn't feel her hand. "ARGH! Aizen-sama! I hurt my hand! Stop the pain, Aizen-sama, MAKE IT STOOOOPPPP!!"

Aizen then stands behind her and he tries to push Hinamori's hand, which is holding his pen, down on the paper. "YOU…ONLY…NEED…THREE MORE WOOOOOORRRRRRDDDDSSSS!! Aizen pushes Hinamori's hand too hard until the table breaks, causing Hinamori and Aizen to fall onto the ground. Aizen sat up and grabs Hinamori's paper. "Let me see what you have written."

"It's not ready yet!" Hinamori protested as she grabs her paper, trying to stop Aizen from seeing it.

"It's okay, Hinamori. Just let me see it." Aizen said with a weak smile.

"NO!!" Hinamori said as she and Aizen are now in game of tug-of-war with Hinamori's paper.

"GIVE ME TO ME!!" Aizen snapped, making his smile dropped.

"NOOOO!!"

"LET ME SEE IT!!"

Aizen and Hinamori however pulls the paper too hard until the paper is ripped into half. Aizen looks at his half of the paper, then angrily snatches Hinamori's half of the paper. Aizen then joins the two halves together and reads, "What I learn in driving school is…um…" Aizen is unable to read however because Hinamori has scribbled her paper too much that he is unable to read the last three words (though he was able to see cute drawings of Hinamori's face, a car, flowers and hearts on it.).

"Er…That doesn't matter!" Aizen said as he tosses the two halves away. He then said to Hinamori happily, "You passed!"

"But Aizen-sama, I felt like I did nothing." Hinamori said sadly.

"But that's what extra-credit is all about." Aizen said.

"Really?" Hinamori perked up.

"Besides, here is your license." Aizen said as he holds up Hinamori's driver's license, making Hinamori even more happier.

"My license!" Hinamori said as she grabs her driver's license. She then licks her card. "It taste just like I dreamt it would." She then looked up at Aizen and tries to say, "Aizen-sama, I…"

"Thank you, Hinamori." Aizen interrupted as he escorts Hinamori to the door and opens it. "Have a nice life!" Hinamori then happily runs out of the school while holding up her driver's license.

"Look out Karakura Town!" Hinamori yelled. "There's a new driver on the road!" This made Aizen gasps in horror. "And her name is…HINAMORI MOMO!"

Hinamori's words echoed in Aizen's mind, who is still looking shocked. "HINAMORI MOMO! HINAMORI MOMO! HINAMORI MOMO!" Soon, a vision came into Aizen's mind.

_Vision:_

_Hinamori was singing happily while driving recklessly on the road. As she sings while driving, she is unaware she has knocked down a man named Kisuke Urahara. She continues singing until she knocks down another man named Grimmjow Jaegerjaques._

_Hinamori now drives pass a bus, causing the bus to tripped over and landed on a man named Ulquiorra Schiffer. "Ow." Ulquiorra groaned._

_Meanwhile, a group of friends named Ichigo Kurosaki, Rukia Kuchiki, Uryu Ishida and Orihime Inoue cheered as they celebrate Renji's birthday on a picnic table. Renji smiles as he looks at his birthday cake._

"_HAPPY BIRTHDAY RENJI ABARAI!!" His friends cheered. But as they cheered, Hinamori drives over to them. Ichigo, Rukia, Uryu, Renji and Inoue all groaned in pain as Hinamori runs over them._

_That night, the television shows the whole Karakura Town on fire. A news reporter named Kaname Tosen was saying, "So much destruction to our town. This reporter asks 'why'?" The television now shows a portrait picture of Aizen. "Local authorities blamed on this selfish driving instructor who…" But before Tosen could continue, Hinamori drives by and drives him over, making him groan in pain. Tosen barely got up and moaned, "Let's…not use…that tape."_

_End of vision_

Aizen soon snapped back to reality and shook his head frantically. "Oh come on, Aizen. Pull yourself together. It's like if that's ever gonna happen. Besides, she did the extra-credit, right? And also, she doesn't have a car to drive." Aizen said, sighing.

* * *

That night, Aizen walks his way home while smiling happily. "Now to finish the rest of that pasta." He chuckled. He soon finally reaches his house. When he opens the door, the lights went on, making Aizen gasps. He soon notice a cake which says 'Thank you Sosuke Aizen'. And Hinamori and her friends, Izuru Kira and Toshiro Hitsugaya comes out from behind the cake.

"SURPRISE!!" They cheered.

"To the greatest teacher ever!" Hinamori added.

"Oh Aizen, at first, me and Toshiro thought Hinamori is never gonna get her license." Izuru said with a smile as he pats Hinamori's head. He then holds up his fist. "But you never gave up on her, you never quit, you never take the easy way out."

"Well I…haha…" Aizen chuckled nervously.

"We just want to make sure Sosuke Aizen, the world's greatest driving teacher, was here to see this." Toshiro said.

"See what?"

Izuru then removes a sheet, revealing a car. "Ta-dah!" He reads the car plate. "I-M R-DY"

Hinamori widens her eyes in joy while Aizen widens his eyes in shock and they both yelled, "A BRAND NEW CAR?!"

"For me?" Hinamori said, going whacky. She moans as she soon faints on the cake.

* * *

"Don't worry Aizen! She'll be driving by tomorrow! Bye!" Toshiro said to Aizen as Izuru drives off with Toshiro and Hinamori, who is still unconscious. Aizen became horrified and nervous.

"What have I done? Soon chaos will unfold in Karakura Town and everybody will soon know it was me who let her slide through school. I got to get out of this town. Start a new driving school with a new name!" Aizen panicked. But soon, he narrowed his eyes and clenches his fists. "No. Not again. I got to stop this before it begins."

* * *

Later at Hinamori's bed, Toshiro and Izuru help Hinamori, whose head is now wrapped up in bandages, get into bed. "You took quite a buster there, Momo." Izuru said.

Hinamori bolted up from her bed and said quickly, "WHAT I LEARN IN DRIVING SCHOOL TODAY IS…" But Toshiro quickly placed her down on her bed, calming her down.

"We're gonna have to hold off on the driving there for a while, Momo." Toshiro said.

"Bye Momo." Izuru said as he and Toshiro leaves Hinamori's room. "And no going near that car." Hinamori closes her eyes until Toshiro closes the door. Hinamori opens her eyes when the coast is clear.

Hinamori then walked out of her house and walks over to her car. She said as she puts her hands on the car, "Hi car." She gasps when she felt her hands cold. "Car, you're cold. She took out her ribbon and cloth from her bun, letting her hair down. She then place the cloth and ribbon on the car. "Here, take my cloth and ribbon." Hinamori now lies on the car. "Oh car, I'm never gonna let you go. You're the best car in the whole of Karakura Town." She kisses the car lever. "Yeah."

* * *

Later, Aizen, who is now wearing a black suit and a black mask looks around to see if the coast is clear. When he made sure there are no witnesses, he quickly runs over to Hinamori's car. He got into the car and places his bag on the seat. "I hope I still know how to do this." Aizen said as he takes a balloon out of his bag. He blows the balloon and makes it into a balloon dog. He laughs as he tosses the balloon dog away. He then starts the ignition and drives the car off.

As he is driving, he is unaware that he ios actually sitting on Hinamori's body, who is sleeping soundly. Hinamori soon woke up and looks up the night sky.

"Hey! I'm driving!" Hinamori said. She then looks up and Aizen looks down and they both looked at each other. They both scream when they see each other. Hinamori got out of Aizen and points accusingly at Aizen. "Who are you and what are you doing to my boat?! And why are you wearing a ki mask?! BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT SKIING!" Hinamori then gasps. "Oh my gosh, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!"

"No! You don't know who I am!" Aizen protested.

"Oh yes I do! I know you're…a car jacker!" Hinamori then holds up a pepper spray bottle. "I never thought I get to use this pepper spray!" She accidentally sprays it on her eyes, making her scream in pain. "AH! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME!" Aizen took the chance by kicking her out of the car.

"Sorry Hinamori, but it's for your own good." Aizen said, panting.

Aizen then yelped when he sees Hinamori cycling on her unicycle, next to him. "GIVE ME BACK MY CAR!" Hinamori yelled. Aizen drives off in the speed of light. But Hinamori was still able to catch up with him and she throws her hand on the screen of her car. Aizen drives faster but Hinamori continues to hang on the car.

"You better stop this car!" Hinamori demanded. Aizen steps on the gas pedal harder, making Hinamori hit the ground. But she continues hanging onto the car as she runs frantically on the road. "I'm…not…letting…go." Hinamori now skis on the road as Aizen continues driving faster.

"Nothing will stop me!" Hinamori said confidentally. "Not even…" She gasps when sees a sign that says 'Giant Clams'. "GIANT CLAMS?!" Hinamori groaned in pain as she passes through the giant clams. A while later, she leaves the giant clam field, with bruises and cuts on her skin.

"I'm…not…letting…go. Even more…" Hinamori gasps again when she sees a sign that says 'Cheese Graters'. "CHEESE GRATERS?!" Hinamori groaned pain as she passes through the cheese graters. A while later, she leaves the cheese grater field and she is now turned into a few strands of skin.

"You think I'm letting go with some…" Hinamori screams as she sees another sign. "EDUCATIONAL TELEVISION?!" Hinamori screams as Aizen smiles as he watches her suffer, thinking he has finally lost her.

"Looks like that takes care of her. Now for some tunes." Aizen said in relief as he turns on the radio, which looked kinda familiar.

"And now back to K-R-U-D, with all of your personal YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH STEALING ON CAR! It." Aizen soon realize that the radio is Hinamori. He screams like a woman as Hinamori gets out and starts beating the crap out of Aizen, making the car go round in circles.

Nearby, two policemen named Nnoitra Jiruga and Szayel Aporro Granz were sitting in their police car while watching Hinamori's car go round and round bored. "Hey look." Szayel said to Nnoitra bored. Suddenly, Hinamori's car drives off a cliff and it's heading towards Szayel and Nnoitra's police car, making the two police officers screamed like girls. Nnoitra hugs Szayel tightly as he screams.

As Hinamori continues beating up Aizen, she said, "Argh! I'll never let you have this car." She then grabs Aizen's mask. "Even if you were…" She rips off Aizen's mack, revealing Aizen's face. Hinamori gasped. "Aizen-sama?" She now plays with her lips frantically. Her car then landed and smash onto Szayel and Nnoitra's police car. The sirens of the police car then went on.

* * *

The next day, Aizen is now in prison and Hinamori pays him a visit. She said to him while talking to the phone. "Hi Aizen-sama. How are you doing?" She asked.

"Um, Hinamori. I have to apologize to you. I shouldn't have given you that license. You weren't ready yet." Aizen apologized.

"So I have to give back my license, huh?" Hinamori said to Aizen sadly.

"I heard Mr. Jushiro Ukitake is starting a new class. Monday mornings." Aizen said, thinking this will make Hinamori leave him alone for good.

"Are you kidding?" Hinamori said as she perked up, thinking that was a joke. "You're the only teacher for this student! Oh by the way, the warden says he will let you off early, if you do me a favor."

"What's that?" Aizen asked nervously.

"Free driving lessons!" Hinamori said. She then laughs loudly.

**THE END**


End file.
